I am terrible… at actually enjoying my life!

This week’s post is from Tess, and is just a timely reminder to take time over the holiday period to relax and reset. Enjoy!

Coming from a girl who wants to conquer her world, I have one (okay well more than one) concept I need to do a lot of work on….I need to learn to enjoy what I have achieved!

I am terrible at slowing down and enjoying the goals I have reached so far. At 26 I earn a good salary for my age, own my house (with a mortgage) and married the most amazing man earlier this year. 

But you know what I am terrible at? I am terrible at stopping, taking a look around and being proud of what I have achieved. I am always looking for the next thing I can conquer and you know what? It’s bloody tiring!

Lately, this is something that has been coming across my mind more and more. I have literally been described (by my boss) as “A thoroughbred that is winning all the races but needs to be held back otherwise she’ll burn herself out”. This comment really got me thinking! I have years left to achieve the goals I have set for myself career wise, so why am I so impatient to be moving forward at such a quick pace?

I mean I am coming up to getting long service leave next year. At the age of 26!! This is something I have always associated with workers above the age of 50 and yet here I am at the ripe old age of 26 about to start accruing it….which if I can do my maths correctly means I have been working full time for almost seven years! Now damm that is something I should be proud of! So why aren’t I? 

I think part of it is just who I am, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t something I shouldn’t be working on – because if I am being honest I want to enjoy my 20s! I want to see my friends. I want to spend time with my family. I want to take magical weekends away with my husband. I don’t want to look back and wonder ‘Aside from working, what did I do with my life?’. 

Make yourself a G&T

So I am going to…wait for it, make myself a G&T! Take a second, look around and write down what I am grateful for. I know I know this sounds a bit pretentious but I think maybe for queens like me this is something we need to do. I need to start looking at the present and stop being so concerned about what the next item I can tick off my task list is.

Now that I am halfway through my G&T I am going to write myself some goals which have NOTHING to do with my career (weird for a career blog I know but hey, our lives and careers are intertwined so I think it’s still relevant). I am going to use the KISS approach and keep them simple stupid and I am going to make them attainable.

I’ll share one of my goals with you: “Stop looking at my work emails on the weekend”. I think this is so important because if I look and I see something that needs to be done I’ll jump straight on and do it. Because, for some reason, I have this intense need to be the best employee there is. Healthy, right? Let me answer that – NO! It’s not healthy because you know what it’s doing? It’s stopping me from enjoying my weekend. 

The last thing I am going to do is make myself a gin martini…oh no wait I mean I am going to start saying No (maybe with a gin martini in hand?). Don’t get me wrong, this fills me with anxiety and dread at the thought of not being the girl that always says yes. 

My A-type personality is screaming at me inside going “No Tessa we can do this just add it to your neatly, colour coded schedule and we will make time for it”. But I am going to try and ignore her, because you know what? The people I should be making time for are my husband, my family and my friends. These are the reasons I need to start saying no. They are the reason, well part of the reason, I do so well at my job. They are my support network, my rocks and I need to stop neglecting them.

Little side note on the above, when I am referencing saying no to things at work I am talking about tasks that sit outside the concept of ‘Reasonable Overtime’. I love to (and I mean love) to take on little projects to help my company because someone on the Senior Management team has rung me up specifically and asked if I could help. The issue with this is that these tasks fall outside of my ‘normal work hours’ and mean I have to do them on top of my normal work. Which means you guessed it! I am spending less time on things that matter!

Give yourself a break 

So to all the queens out there who are like me, let’s remember to stop sometimes, give ourselves a break (which I have no doubt is well earned) and spend quality time with the people that matter. Because at the end of the day the work will still be there on Monday!  

Career Queens will be taking their own advice and taking a break for the next few weeks. We’ll be back in action in 2021 with some advice around goal setting – putting you on the right path in the New Year! Have a happy and safe holidays.

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